A shift..
I admit,
My new digs is small and cozy. My room is of decent size, and my cat gets to live with me now instead of in the garage. He is so needy, he is driving me nuts. Won’t let me sleep, always trying to get into things, makes noise, always wants to be by my side. My roommate just got back from
Along with my move, I’ve felt changes in other aspects of my life. Well, maybe not changes, but a strong searching. I’ve found myself confronted with issues in my life that I shoved aside years ago. I find myself questioning the character of God, but trying to leave out opinions and restrictions. Sometimes it’s really confusing, often times, I’m overwhelmed. Who is this God that I’ve known for so long? Do I really know Him at all? How well? Does he really know me? I definitely don’t want to be one of those people who gets to heaven after years of claiming to know Christ only to find that I’ve been told, “I never knew you.” That certainly can’t be me. So what is there to do? To whom do I seek for guidance? I read a nice proverb today: “For waging war you need guidance, and for victory many advisers" Proverbs 24:6. So I’ve been given some good counsel recently, from an old pastor, and a woman who’s known the Lord for many years-and I felt encouraged, I felt like I was given some peace. I’ve got another meeting in the works to discuss these things. I wonder if the yearning and desire of my heart isn’t significant; I wonder if it’s no coincidence. Could God be calling me to something specific? What is he trying to teach me through this?
posted by CarGate @ 11:36 AM
2 Comments:
I understand the questioning of the God we've served for so long. I haven't picked up and really studied my bible for a year and a half. Every time I try to get back into some routine of really studing the word, I freeze. I start anxiously sweating and my heart starts to race. It's insane. I don't understand how, why, I can't commune with God on a level of daily reading His word--I'm constantly in communion with Him through worship songs and prayer, but as far as His word goes, the sword I need to stay strong in battle, I freak! I don't know what to do! Thus this leads to believe I'm not good enough. That when I too get to Heaven that God will say that He's never known me...but then I know...really, that that is not Truth. Though I may question who God really is at times...that truth of the matter is--I won't ever know until I meet Him face to face. He's a supernatural mystery who I have this amazing realationsihp with--go figure! Who would have thought. The best thing is though, God knows every detail of every thought you think of Him. So if in asking who He is--ask Him. Continue to ask Him even when you don't get immediate answers. He'll continue to reveal Himself in new ways--ways you've never seen Him before! He's showing me some pretty...umm..let's put it this waay...selfish and childish things about me right now that are hard to face. But I know there's a purpose behind it all! There's a reson for Davis, there's a reson for where you're at, there's a reason for why you're going through whatever it is you're going through with God...so bottom line, you can continually grow and see how God works in new ways every day on every level of your life!! I love you Carina and praying for you! ~~Polly~~
Questioning God is the best place to start. Since we can't know everything about him, it's not like we'll get all the answers, but each answer leads to new questions when you apply it, and it's the constant search, the chasing after God, that keeps our relationship and dialogue with him fresh and flowing. I look forward to your continued success in this endeavor
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